Every five years, as summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the
mail,
A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;
Make plans to attend
without fail.
I'll never forget the first time we met;
We tried so hard to impress.
We
drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress.
It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.
It was held at a fancy
hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
And everyone thought
it was swell.
The men all conversed about who had been first
To achieve great fortune and
fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
And how
beautiful their children became.
The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,
Now weighed in at
one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
And the
cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.
No one had heard about the class nerd
Who'd guided a spacecraft to the
moon;
Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;
She married a shipping
tycoon.
The boy we'd decreed 'most apt to succeed'
Was serving ten years in the
pen,
While the one voted 'least' now was a priest;
Just shows you can be
wrong now and then.
They awarded a prize to one of the guys
Who seemed to have aged the
least..
Another was given to the grad who had driven
The farthest to
attend the feast.
They took a class picture, a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide
ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;
You never saw so
many thighs.
At our next get-together, no one cared whether
They impressed their
classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
By this
time we'd all gone to pot.
It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw,
and beans.
Then most of us lay around in the shade,
In our comfortable
T-shirts and jeans.
By the fiftieth year, it was abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the
hill.
Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,
And be home in time
for their pill.
And now I can't wait; they've set the date; our Fiftieth is definitely here...
It should be a ball, they've rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home
for the old.
Repairs have been made on my hearing aid;
My pacemaker's been turned up on
high.
My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;
And I've
bought a new wig and glass eye.
I'm feeling quite hearty, and I'm ready to party
I'm gonna dance 'til dawn's
early light.
It'll be lots of fun; But I just hope that there's one
Other
person who can make it that night.